I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
