i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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