we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Alive.
So much puke
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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