God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
