She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
