Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
