i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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