You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize
