i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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