we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
