I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
