I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
