He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
