I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
What a dumb baby whore.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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