well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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