is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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