theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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