**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
