I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
