Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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