I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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