I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
