I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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