the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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