i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
