after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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