Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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