no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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