i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
