Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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