Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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