a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
