I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize