Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
