Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
