you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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