Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
