People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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