Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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