i think my tv is drunk
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
