My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
