Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
