It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
