Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
