Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
