Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
