We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
