he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
