Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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