am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
