You smell like stripper and shame
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
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