Are we in a gay sports bar?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
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I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
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I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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