I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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