Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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