I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
