yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
