Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
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You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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