i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
