goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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