This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
