Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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